Saturday, June 18, 2011

Dear Victoria's Secret...

Every year I look forward to your Semi-Annual Sale. Instead of paying $39.99 for a pair of Made in China yoga pant that look and fit great, I can buy them for $14.99. Instead of paying $44.99 for a sexy bra that make my boobs look just like Barbie's but better, I can snatch it up for $18.99.  Score! Trust me, I love you for that. My bank account also shares the love, especially my savings account . Hey you even won my heart mydear Victoria when I won $500 from the Secret rewards card that I had in my wallet for weeks. I popped it out while on vacation in Miami at the super huge Sawgrass Mills Mall and was floored to find out the chick at the counter said I have $500.. I'll admit, after winning $10 3 years in a row I thought you were full of shit but you proved yourself to me. But help me out here... I'm confused...

Victoria, every time I step foot at one of your yearly sales, I get stampeded by giga-normous sized women that cannot fit in your sexy lingerie and comfy pajamas. They snatch the small sizes and that irrititates me more. Please, let them know that shopping at a sexy store and wearing the lingerie will not make them sexy. Spending money on fake nails, fake hair and rocking  your panties will not make them sexy. The gym will sexify them. It's not your g-strings nor your garters my love. All of that is a mere illusion.

You are a wise one, I have to admit. The bigger they are, the more they spend....

Hey, Victoria, my love.... maybe I am on to your secret...?

The Thought Disposal XoXo

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